Talk is Cheap

Advice is something given by lessons won and lost

Usually by people who have experienced life and death at a high cost

Measure a man by not what he has or where he calls home

But by the company he has and keeps in touch by contacting them by phone

Communication to me has cheapened and dulled

Texting, emailing and twittering are all methods that should be culled

If you want to know how someone is and you truly care

Then pick up the phone if you dare

Call them speak to them no matters the price

Or do what others do and text and be like mice

Become small and insignificant in the lives of your friends

And awake one day to discover that it's too late to make amends

Whatever happened to taking the time to write a letter or note

I bet your grandparents would often tell of their stories being transported by boat

This is the new 21st century the great communication age

With time we do our talking in a way that sends our grandparents with rage

I was taught the old ways to love protect and to think

These days if someone makes an error in life they make amends by buying everything but the kitchen sink

What women want v Online Dating

There was a movie with Mel Gibson a few years ago whereby a guy gets the power to read women's minds and thereby using this power was able to ascertain what women want and therefore become a really powerful tool in the art of business and seduction.

If only it was that easy.

But if I may conclude - what women want is to not meet their one true love online but face to face in the street, not in a bar, nightclub or club true love is never found there but in a scenario, at a coffee shop, a museum or a park. 

What on earth has happened to all the men in this world that they are reduced to chatting up women online? 

Where have all the real men gone? Why have they all suddenly become too afraid to just approach a woman in public and strike up a conversation? Surely that would be much easier quicker and less painless than creating an online dating profile, messaging a woman, spending weeks talking to her, swapping numbers and then asking her out to find there is no spark.

How disheartening.

Now I know in my last few blogs I slammed online dating but I recently experimented on it and concluded after three weeks to disable my profile.

What a waste of time. A site I looked at whilst I researched this topic brazenly stated the below:

Online dating is free, it is easy to use, and it is filled with girls who lack the funds, the seriousness, or the intelligence to realise that every other dating site offers them better prospects for a guy who wants a long-term relationship. In other words, it’s perfect. The girls are pre-selected for some combination of stupidity, desperation and sluttiness. Not a great place to find a wife but a prime hunting ground for the man looking to play some catch and release.'

Case closed.

If you are woman reading this you don't need the site to find the person you are looking for and guys for the love of Pete throw caution to the wind and date without the assistance of a dating site.

Leave our security services alone

This morning after waking up I popped to the bathroom, switched on the light, brushed my teeth and got dressed ready to head out. The lights didn't fail to come on and the water ran freely.

The streets were quiet, people were walking their dogs, parents and their children were heading out to the park, another chap was washing his car, a few people jogged past me it was in essence a typical winter morning. 

I popped into Starbucks as I have always done these past four years and ordered my Peppermint Hot Chocolate and settled down to read the papers that were consumed with nothing but violence and uprisings, murders and those seeking a

democracy being snatched from their beds in the middle of the night never to be seen again. Journalists were going missing too.

So who ensures our way of life, who has no doubt saved us a dozen times over without reward or thanks, who should be left alone and not pursued because the people or albeit be it a political agenda dictates the level of questions directed at them?

Leave our security services alone - they are in my mind and without doubt the best security services on the planet and I for one was personally angered and dissolutioned as to how the top three from MI6, MI5 and GCHQ were summoned to a hearing like naughty school children. 

Who are we to judge?

The media storm that followed that CIA chap who ran off with secrets, or the Wikipedia leaks served no good purpose. I personally didn't care. Anyone who reveals secrets and posts them online in my opinion deserves everything they get. The people that do this are terrorists and threaten our way of life as this CIA chap must have signed a secrets act of some kind and when he decided to break it he knew what he was doing and what did he reveal? That our phones and emails were being monitored by the security services? Was this such a shock? Facebook a site which encourages you to tell the whole world or your network of friends your thoughts, desires and wishes, to tell the world where you are going to be and what time you are going to be there and if you were a security force why spend money on tracking someone down when you can just look on their social media site to see where a person of interest will be, what their likes are, where they are from, what books they like to read - I'm sorry guys if we are stupid enough to post our most private and intimates desires online then who are we to moan and complain when that data is used by the intelligence services to ascertain your level of threat?

The irony of course in all of this is that the free press in this country were allowed at will to stir up empathy within the public domain which they wouldn't be allowed to do in another country for fear of reprisal from their government or army.

Our security services shouldn't have to answer to anyone - and for anyone who says that's a dangerous thing to say then I would ask what good will come from them being lambasted in a public arena, to reveal their actions, tactics and skills in a public domain - no one should need to know it's not our concern. Who cares what they do as long as they protect our way of life. 

If I could I would send them a box of chocolates from one grateful citizen to an organisation that ensures that I get to live my life without fear or reprisal I would.

The clue is in the name of their organisation. 

Security Intelligence.

When it goes right, we love them, when it goes wrong we hate them and question them, their methods and ask them to attend a meeting for the public good, but I doubt any Tom, Dick or Harry could just waltz into take a position there.

No doubt the brightest and best minds are protecting us and I hear the pay isn't exactly thrilling so why do they do it?

I would like to think they do it for the love of their country and their is no higher reason.

So leave them alone. 

Please.  

I like helping people but...

I have to ask their permission first.  There is nothing worse than thinking you can help someone without asking them if they need help.  They have to want it and to accept it otherwise if you brazenly just start without asking you will probably end up having a huge fall out and everyone quickly forgets the original sentiment of why you started to worry and care for someone in the first place.

In this instance - I would like to talk about my housemate.

I have been living with him now for about 6 months, but when he first moved in we were of course relative strangers, but over time and after living with someone  and seeing them day after day, you begin to open up to one another about each other and you begin to learn about that person.

What I learnt very early on is that as a New Zealander he was only going to be here for 2 years (don't even get me started on the laws of immigration in this country!) and he was out of work. But as an Accountant the future was not only bright but lucrative also. He had dreams of using the UK as a springboard to visit Europe but of course this could only be achieved if he had money coming in rather than going out.

In addition to that he also had strong feelings towards a girl, who mixed in the same social scene as he did and all attempts thus far by him were constantly being thwarted too woo her.

Lastly, he also possessed a slight stammer - he's a big guy, with a big heart but his stammer came into effect when he was nervous and this reared itself in his interviews.

So after approximately 4 weeks of living with the guy, being invited to his birthday and meeting his friends and this girl that he was besotted with, feeling his pain at not landing a job despite an influx of interviews and the frustration he was showing at all of this I asked him:

'Would you like me to help you?'

He said yes, and this is what unfolded.

I told him quite plainly to ditch the girl - she clearly had no feelings for him and if she did she had a funny way of showing it. She wasn't responding to his text messages and was making his life even more miserable than it should be. She had some of his possessions too and after I took control of his phone and texting the items that had been kept for what felt like an eternity were returned immediately.

Then despite what I said about my earlier post with regards to online dating - I got him set up on a dating site and dating again. I asked him for some pictures of himself, practically wrote his profile and even got involved with the texting of these women on his phone as he had no idea how to do it himself. He started dating other women - who appreciated him and the first date ended with a kiss....apparently. Now the little bugger has changed the password to his dating profile and is dating women left right and centre.

My young Padawan was growing up and clearly didn't trust me! :)

On the work front I told him to take in a broadsheet, The Times, The Financial Times or The Telegraph with him into the interview - compliment the interviewers, tell them they have a nice tie or watch and be honest at the start about your stammer. Don't hide it from them otherwise the pressure to keep it locked away will only backfire.

We then finally went shopping together and I got him some new clothes that most importantly he felt comfortable in.

About 6 weeks ago - he landed his first job - on contract and the bugger is earning more money than me!

I of course asked his permission if I could post this - he agreed as long a I kept him anonymous.

Helping people is not only rewarding but can be great fun too.

Darwin in Action

When I was 8 years old my Primary School in London invited a group of Police Officers to the school to teach us how to cross the road.

Stop. Look. Listen. Then Cross. Four phrases drilled into us to stop us from injuring ourselves. We even had a short role play!

Does anyone recall the Hedgehog Adverts?

Fast forward 20 years and with the birth of the mobile phone and headphones the average Joe on London's streets treats the Zebra Crossing as their right to use it whenever they want and all cars, bikes and trucks no matter their speed must stop for THEM.

Walking through London streets let alone cycling is an absolute nightmare - can you please look up from you phone and just look where you are going?!?!

The best part is when they walk into you - it's your fault. They look at us as if to say 'Why didn't you move out my way?'

This came to a head this morning when a commuter tapping into their phone walked straight across a Zebra crossing without looking and nearly got taken out by a lorry.

I know all drivers need to at times predict the future but its not only the life of the person crossing the road at risk but also in some cases the livelihood of the man behind the wheel too.

Just another observation of my morning into work.

Riots in London - Arm our Police

Why aren't all Police armed? 

The argument of course is escalation - once you start arming all Police then all the criminals will start arming themselves - but here's the thing, aren't they already?

The riots in London actually terrified me and I think anyone else who says otherwise would be lying to themselves.

There was an uneasy calm across the London during the riots, parks were empty, businesses especially on Hatton Garden closed down and then they called in their own private security who were brought in to not only be a deterrent, given the size and stature of the guards, but they gave a clear warning to any trouble makers - 'if you come and cause trouble in Hatton Garden beware of a big surprise' 

That got me thinking - the businesses in Hatton Garden clearly had no faith in the Police to keep their businesses and livelihoods safe. The diamond business after all is worth millions of pounds and of course they can afford the extra security - but what about elsewhere? 

Everyone else were left to the mercy of looters and stupid news reporters creating the news by going on air and stating things like...'currently there are no Police in Clapham Junction...' - does anyone remember that? It was either a tweet or a broadcast I can't recall but what sensible broadcaster with any sense states something like that to millions of people....?!?! Maybe it was because he was bored and needed something to report on and be a part of the action he instigated in the first place!

All the looters were cowards - powerful in groups but not on their own. As with all bullies.

Our Emergency Response Teams in my opinion are the best in the world - and personally I would rather like to keep them all safe - we owe them that much. 

I'd rather hear a news report about 200 rioters shot dead rather than a Police officer.

Arm our Police. 

Please.

The only way to move on from a relationship...

is to delete all traces of the person who broke your heart. These days, that's easier said than done. This isn't 1984 - we can't just walk away from someone and be done with it.

Why? The glorious world of social media.

Whether it be a friend or an ex partner, cutting off from someone is practically impossible but achievable. We just have to remember the reason why we broke off from them in the first place and to remember how you felt at the time you called it a day.  Remember that - and no matter what you experienced together, just remember how you felt at the end. There is after all a reason why you didn't work out. In fact while you still feel that way, delete their number, texts messages, your call lists and then the tricky part - call your friends and tell them that you have split from your partner and ask them to remove the person from their Facebook friends list.

It's all about damage limitation - everything has an echo, just by looking at it we are reminded of a memory, a moment when you and your partner were happy and together and bought it - whether it be  a picture, a plant, a piece of clothing, a book, a cushion or even something as silly as something in the fridge.

Pack it in a bag and throw it all out.

Move on and be happy - but this cannot be achieved if you hold onto mementos. There's nothing worse than calling a ex after a few drinks and then regretting it in the morning.

'The power in all relationships lies with the person who cares less' - a phrase said by the character Connor Mead in the movie Ghosts of Girlfriend Past.

In truth - power lies with those who you have just contacted because you couldn't let them go.